Discover how to build the right habits that stick for long lasting success

Aristotle was on to something when he said “We are the sum of our actions, and therefore our habits make all the difference.” Indeed, habits can make or break us and yet building good habits feel about as much fun as watching paint dry. Investing in good practices early on pays off high returns in the later years. For instance, smart spending or regular saving result in financial freedom and stability. Similarly, people who make a habit of eating balanced and healthy tend to remain fit as they age. Although doing what’s best isn’t always easy, it’s not impossible either if we use the right tools to prime our minds for it.

Become Aware

The process of behaviour change always begins with awareness. Making a list of your daily habits can be an excellent tool to become aware of the good, bad or even neutral habits with respect to your desired goal(s). For instance, eating sugar cookies with your morning tea while aiming to lose weight should get a negative mark on your habit scorecard. Many times we don’t notice the little things that are working against the hard efforts we are putting into achieving something. Becoming conscious of the small habits can reveal crucial information about why your life looks a certain way. Learning to be more present and mindful of yourself through the day is extremely important.

Distance yourself from unhelpful narratives

Often, we tell ourselves stories that are based on identities and images we create for ourselves. Moreover, we feel compelled to maintain this self-image through our actions and behaviours. If the narratives and labels that we attach ourselves to conflict with our goals then there is resistance to building good habits around them. “I am too lazy to be exercising daily”, “I always fumble in work meetings so I can never be a good public speaker”, “I am too careless with money to be able to ever save for a decent retirement”. To avoiding falling victim to self-fulfilling prophecies, it is important to decouple yourself from hardwired beliefs that are not serving you well.

Writing down some of your long held identities and then rewording them can be a great way of stepping back and letting go of your identifications in a mindful way.

Try this technique with some of your beliefs to create a sense of flexibility within

I am unhappy - I feel unhappy

I am too lazy to be exercising daily I think I am too lazy to be exercising daily

I am so overweight - My body is overweight

I am always stressed at work - I notice I am stressed at work

Expand your identity

Becoming the best version of yourself requires you to continuously edit your beliefs and to upgrade and expand your identity. Focusing on who you want to become versus what you want to achieve leads to long lasting results. You may lose a few pounds through strict diet control but it’s very likely you’ll gain it all back if you don’t become a conscious eater. Long lasting results come from goal less thinking that’s about continuous improvement and committing to the process. The statements below explain how outcome based habits are different from identity based habits.

Outcome : I want to lose 5 kgs in 3 months

Identity : “I want to become a conscious eater” or “I am someone who is committed to fitness”

Outcome: I want to get promoted to a leadership role at work

Identity : I want to become a leader

Once you decide the type of person you want to become, prove it to yourself with small wins. The process of building habits is actually the process of becoming yourself. Behaving repeatedly in a certain way shapes you into that. For instance, every time you take the stairs instead of an elevator you’re showing commitment to fitness. Similarly, in a work crisis every time you take a compassionate view towards a team member you’re being a leader.

Design the right environment for success

Imagine trying to resist the temptation of a decadent chocolate cake while sitting in a bakery, surrounded by mouthwatering aromas. Tricky, right? Research shows our habits are dependent on context and our environment has a big hand in shaping our behaviour. Habits are tied to the cues around us. Exposing yourself to an environment with the wrong cues is setting up for failure. When I wanted to cutback on my alcohol intake, I stopped going out on Saturday nights to avoid temptation. Spending less time in tempting surroundings is certainly a better strategy than continually testing your willpower ! On the other hand, placing multiple cues or reminders of your desired habits in your environment will set you up for success. For example, if you want to drink more water, fill up a few bottles each morning and place them in common locations around the house.

Remember that building the right habits is not just about ticking boxes or reaching milestones—it’s about embracing the journey, finding joy in the process, and celebrating your victories, big or small. As Zig Zagler said: What you get by reaching your goals is not nearly as important as what you become by reaching them.